Go On ! Give your Enemy a Hug



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Another preposterous idea from yours truly, even the thought makes some people shudder.

My husband had been having difficulty with an old mate, whenever he met him there were sneers and snide comments. A feeling of animosity generally pervaded the atmosphere between them. So, Jeremy my husband, set about imagining giving this fellow a hug. In his mind he set a scene and in it he frequently gave the old mate a hug. The next time he met this mate in the flesh, the change was amazing! Gone were the sneers and snide remarks- the problem had been healed. I have tried this myself since then and believe me, it really works! The power of unconditional love is amazing, and it is free. It just takes a small amount of your time. Have a go and see.

So, to move on a step further, after you have given your worst enemy a hug, how about giving yourself a hug? Imagine yourself as a small child, allow that small child to climb up onto your knee and hug him or her. Do this at every available opportunity when you have a quiet time. Imagine playing with that child in the playground or on the beach. See what happens to the inner you. You will find that you begin to grow as a person, you move on as your capability to love and like yourself blossoms. Consequently, your ability to love others will also grow.

The tough bit about what I have said is – why does your enemy upset you so much? What is it about them that you do not like/resent? The answer is they are mirroring [showing] to you something about yourself that you do not like. They are doing you a service actually [so you should say ‘thank-you’] but it is often very hard to see this. Your own deep integrity and innate honest with yourself has to come into play before you can see [and accept] what that person is showing you. Nobody likes to think ill of themselves, but you don’t have to judge it when you do. None of us are perfect; we all have flaws, the dark side as well as the light. Everyone, has the same fears deep down, we are all the same. We all believe we are not good enough: that love equals pain: that the world is not a safe place. We all fear that we lack love, abundance, joy and safety.

When you find yourself angry, sad, miserable, jealous, guilty – beside yourself with an emotion so that you don’t know what to do, picture that child and hug him/her. This is called transforming the emotion. You are changing the energy from negative to positive so to speak. Emotions are energy- energy in motion. You can’t get rid of energy- only transform it.

Your enemy, that person who drives you up the wall, lights the blue touch paper for you [remember you may do the same for them]-change it! Take responsibility and decide to make things better. Hug your enemy and see what happens the next time you meet. ‘Those who would control you are those who are afraid they have no control. Those who lust after power are those who fear powerlessness. Those who would steal are in fear of lack. Those who would torment and torture are those who, indeed are tortured and tormented. Beloved, have compassion for their fear. As you may, without judgement, enfold these ones into your heart, indeed you will change the reality’ [P’Taah,’ The Gift’ by Jani King]


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